Clean Up...

I'm lying in my bed.  There are no sheets on it.  I'm on top of all my clean laundry that I need to fold and put away...  maybe after this post.

I have papers to grade and a diet to get back on.

But first, I have a story to tell.

Sexuality has always confused me.  When I was young, around 13, I remember sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table and hearing my aunt say that all faggots are going to hell.  Nice holiday conversation.  From that point on, I wondered why she thought that.

I am some shade of queer that I don't understand.  I lie to myself and tell people that I'm gay or bi.  It depends on my mood.  Usually the thought of a man makes me cringe.  But then, sometimes I tell myself I'm straight.  My sexuality changes daily and I don't get it.

I just moved to a new area, with new people and new mindsets.  People don't understand "fluid sexuality" here.  So I said I'm gay.  Now I'm crushing on a man with no one to talk to.  I thought that lying would just be easier than defending my own different though process.  Now look where I am.

I need to clean up my life.

My To Do List for Today:
1.  Fold Laundry
2. Make my bed
3. Shower and such...
4. Correct Water Projects
5. Email parents
6. Make up Data
7. Submit fake data
8. Input grades
9. Make lunches for the week
10. Dread going back to school tomorrow....